After a breakup, you may have a hard time deciding what to talk about with your ex boyfriend over text. There’s all that negative energy floating around. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells because you don’t want to say anything to set him off or to make the situation worse.
Conversations seem awkward at best.
The truth is, immediately following a breakup you shouldn’t be trying to text your ex at all. There needs to be a “cooling off” period (usually about 30 days) where you aren’t in contact.
If you don’t implement this cooling off period, then both of you will still be in an emotionally heightened state and you’re likely to text things that will make you sound needy and desperate. Guys aren’t attracted to needy and desperate girls, no matter how cute you might be.
Staying out of contact shows that you are confident and strong enough to be ok with or without your ex boyfriend in your life. It creates the fear of loss and actually allows him to miss you. If you constantly contact him, then he’ll never know what it’s like to truly be without you and he’ll end up taking you for granted.
At best you’ll become his backup plan while he goes out and dates other women. I don’t know anyone who wants to be “the backup plan”.
After you’ve been out of contact for a while, your next step will to be make contact and start working on the process of getting him back. Knowing what to talk about with your ex boyfriend over text at this stage can be difficult to figure out as well.
I strongly suggest you watch the video below to find out 3 texts you should NEVER send to your ex boyfriend if you want him back. You might be surprised to know that even simple texts like, “What’s up?” could ruin your chances…
If you want to make amends with your ex boyfriend, then you should keep your texts positive, fun, and upbeat. Avoid boring, everyday things and don’t get into any long conversations. Be the one to end the conversation first so you can keep control of the outcome.
You want to focus on sending texts that cause your ex to experience positive thoughts and feelings. Don’t talk about the past relationship and avoid getting into any kind of fight at ALL COSTS.
The best guide for texting your ex is called Text Your Ex Back and it’s by author and relationship coach, Michael Fiore. Inside that program, Mike says…
” NO MATTER WHAT, you MUST refuse to go negative with your ex over text. If he or she starts a fight over text, REFUSE to continue the conversation in that medium, even if it makes your blood totally BOIL. Call instead. Meet in person if it makes sense, but keep texting as “virgin territory.”
Now that we’ve talked about the types of things you should avoid, here’s what to talk about with your ex boyfriend over text when you want him back. Keep in mind these are just examples that can be used in different situations.
If you want to know exactly what kind of texts to use, when to send them, and how to combine them with other texts to create attraction and connection with your ex, then I highly recommend watching this video by relationship expert Michael Fiore that describes his Text Your Ex Back system.
If you need a conversation starter after you’ve been out of touch with your ex for a while, you can send a text that indicates something made you think of your ex out of the blue in a positive way. For example…
”Just saw a black widow in the driveway. I HATE those things, but it actually made me smile thinking of you for the first time in a while because it made me remember all the times you smushed spiders for me. Hope you’re doing well.”
Other things to talk about with your ex boyfriend over text are positive experiences and memories. Using the word “remember” you can direct “movies” in your ex’s mind to evoke positive thoughts and feelings. For example…
“Do you remember that time we ran around campus during that legendary blizzard making snow angels? That was so much fun. It was freezing cold but I remember smiling when you held me so tight afterward. It was like having my own personal heater.”
You can also use texts to develop intimacy and to remind your ex of how close the two of you once were. This is most easily accomplished by being there for them (from a distance) when they are going through something difficult. For example…
”I know you’re probably stressed with finals coming up, but you’re super smart and I know you’ll do great. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.”
Another great thing to send your ex is what Michael Fiore refers to as an “emotional honesty” text. You won’t want to use these if you just broke up, but they are perfect if you’ve used some of the other texts and your ex has responded positively. They can really help solidify the emotional bond between you and your ex.
Examples of these include compliment texts, appreciation texts, how I feel texts, and what I miss texts.
You might say something like…
”I’m at the gym right now and keep thinking about how much I enjoyed watching you play basketball. You were really amazing!”
When determining what to talk about with your ex boyfriend over text, always keep things simple and positive. Texting isn’t the place to get into long, drawn out conversations.
Simply plant some positive thoughts, memories, and feelings, and let them grow. You might be surprised how quickly your connection re-establishes itself.